Grits and Purls

Spinning yarns about the grit of life

How do I discuss this topic delicately, like any Southern-bred woman would? Hmmm.

Out in the world among us are poor, misguided souls who, bless their hearts, think that there is no odor when they defecate. These people are delusional of course, but how do you deal with them when they enter your life?

We have a potty -training two-year-old in the house, so we think and talk a lot about poop these days. As I have watched my daughter figure out what to do about poop, I have also learned a little about dealing with the metaphorical poop that is a part of daily life.

I highly recommend “Flush Therapy.”

Just the other night my daughter flushed the toilet, and then on her way to the sink to wash her hands, stopped, turned around, waved her hand, and gleefully exclaimed “Bye, bye, poop.” Then, flush with confidence, she marched to the sink and washed her hands.

Wow. What a concept.

What if instead of stewing over the inconsiderate, rude, indecorous things that people say and do, we simply flushed them? (Their actions, words and behaviors—not the actual people.) Imagine going home after a particularly aggravating day and claiming a couple of moments of respite in the bathroom in which you mentally review that day’s poop, tear off a single sheet of toilet paper for each incident, toss the papers into the toilet, flush, wave and cheerfully exclaim “Bye, Bye poop” as they disappear into the sewer system. What a relief that would be!

You could engage in flush therapy at the mall or the grocery store or even at the gas station just down from the road where some yahoo cut you off in traffic. You could even have flush therapy at work.

Of course, you should not necessarily expect relief with the first flush. Some situations may require multiple flushes. Some may require repeat flushes over a period of days, weeks or months.

The main disadvantage of Flush therapy is its environmental impact. It isn’t the most environmentally friendly activity that I can think of for stress relief—a long walk, for instance, might be better on environmental grounds. But, if you buy toilet paper made from recycled materials and use a low-flow toilet, the effects of your therapy on the environment should be minimal—unless you’ve had a REALLY bad day.

So, my daughter just may be onto something. Flush Therapy. I think I’ll trademark it. Then I’ll write a best selling self-help book and use the profits to buy a gilded toilet.

Bye, Bye. 😉

© 2009 Michele Arduengo. All rights reserved.

Dear readers,
I beg your indulgence. I write post this tongue-in-cheek, sort-of, and I hope that you see the humor, and perhaps, even the value of the post.

7 thoughts on “Flush Therapy

  1. Ken says:

    Great suggestion! And, congrats–flushing and washing hands at 2 years old? That’s a major accomplishment.

    1. Michele Arduengo says:

      I must confess she is almost three, and the flushing and washing usually come after I have said “Remember wipe, flush and wash” about fifty times.

  2. The Divine Ms. M says:

    Wow…I could only imagine what a more relaxed individual I would be if I learned this concept of “flush therapy”! Great advice, Michele!

    1. Michele Arduengo says:

      Hello Ms. M.,
      Glad you enjoyed the post. I wasn’t sure about posting it because I was afraid folsk might think it a tad venomous.
      When I was in graduate school and having a particularly difficult time, I had lunch with our family physician, who at that time was great about providing a good ear for my whines and rants. After I told him what was going on, this always nice, kind, polite person made the statement that I used to open the post, only he phrased it quite differently (considerably more succinctly). I was shocked, but I couldn’t stop laughing, because I had never thought of things in quite that way before. When my daughter said, “bye, bye, poop” the other day, I suddenly remembered that conversation and thought, what a perfect way to deal with those situations.


  3. Alice says:

    Metaphorical flushing out “poops” is a wonderful idea. I’ll remember that. Thank you daughter for me.

    1. Michele Arduengo says:

      Hi Alice,

      I will pass along your thanks.


  4. Alice says:

    oh, and if it keeps your psyche intact I don’t think it’s all that bad. Au contraire!

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