Today I came across the book “101 Things to Do With Zucchini” for the sale price of $1.42. Even at that bargain price I cannot bring myself to buy it. I cannot face it. Over the last two weeks we have had 2 lots of zucchini bread, a zucchini curry, and several batches of pan-fried zucchini. We have a good sized pile of zucchini in the fridge, have given some away, and still the zucchini keeps on coming.
All this bounty is from a single zucchini plant in my garden. I didn’t know how big it was going to get. It has taken over my whole plot. The tomatoes are shaded and puny, the peppers miniscule, the cabbage has been devoured by some pest, the potatoes have wilted, but the zucchini is mighty and awesome. Like a Triffid it sits there in my yard, engulfing all the plants around it and secretly generating its enormous crop of soul-destroying vegetables.
No matter how diligently I check the plant, it continually manages to defeat me. Taking my phone (in case I can’t get out) I plunge headlong among the leaves and conduct a painstaking search for normal sized fruits. Nothing—many massive leaves, a few flowers, but no sign of anything pickable. Miraculously, overnight, it will then generate a zucchini the size of a small child. This has happened several times now. The fridge shelf is creaking. We can’t give them away.
I’m starting to be afraid of it. Endlessly having to think up zucchini recipes has become a form of torture for me. You finally finish all the muffins, salads, casseroles, and bread, breathe a sigh of relief and get ready to put your feet up, when in comes another massive crop and the whole cycle begins again.
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